Halloween is my Christmas
I remember being around age five, watching Tales from the Crypt (anyone remember this and the weird little guy during the intros? Just me? Okay got it.) and sneaking peeks at scenes from Chucky at my mom’s house. I was so fascinated by the costumes, makeup, and creatures in these shows and at haunted houses growing up. It was like fantasy became real life, and I thought it was awesome.
I loved, and still love, the feeling of being scared. It gives me an adrenaline rush that feels almost euphoric, but I still feel like I’m in control.
A neat (or not so neat) fact is that people who’ve experienced trauma often have a higher threshold for adrenaline and pain compared to others. There’s also research showing something similar for folks with ADHD, neurodivergence, or what’s sometimes called an “addictive personality.” That dopamine hit can be harder to reach when your system is a bit desensitized, so being scared shitless can actually wake it up.
Nervous System 101: Hyperarousal vs. Hypoarousal
When your nervous system has lived through chaos, it learns two main survival modes:
Hyperarousal
The gas pedal is stuck. You’re in go mode which means being tense and scanning for danger even when nothing’s wrong.
You might notice:
Feeling jumpy or on edge, constantly having to keep moving or doing
Racing thoughts or irritability, constant “what if” thinking
Trouble resting, relaxing, or falling asleep (and working yourself to exhaustion to get to sleep)
Hypoarousal
The emergency brake is on. Instead of fight-or-flight, it’s freeze. Your body slows everything down to protect you.
You might notice:
Fatigue, brain fog, or low motivation
Feeling disconnected or numb, sometimes having memory lapses (slight disassociation)
Going through the motions but not feeling much, never too “high” of a feeling
Seeking intensity to feel “awake” again, feeling jittery or off but nowhere to channel it
Both are just adaptive ways your body has learned to keep you safe.
Sensory Regulation: How We Seek (or Avoid) Stimulation
There’s another layer to this: how we use sensation (movement, sound, temperature, touch) to regulate our internal state.
In sensory terms, these show up as hypo-sensitive or hyper-sensitive responses:
Hypo-sensitive (under-responsive):
Your system under-registers stimulation, so it craves more input to feel balanced. This can be the nervous system’s way of getting back online and seeking that impulsive itch to be scratched.
You might love intense workouts, loud music, cold plunges or sauna, haunted houses, deep tissue massages, tattoos/piercing, or spicy food.
You kind of have to be pushed to the limit before you stop, and your threshold for what you can withstand is probably pretty high.
Hyper-sensitive (over-responsive):
Your system over-registers stimulation, so it avoids or limits input to stay calm as a self soothing protection.
You might prefer quiet rooms, dim lighting, gentle sounds, soft and non restrictive fabrics. Crowds, strong smells, or bright lights might feel overwhelming.
If you’re overstimulated or overwhelmed, you can have a big crash out. Think almost temper tantrum or anger outburst that would make the Hulk blush.
You can also have a fun combination of both, such as myself. Periodically, I personally need a good run until I feel like my lungs are bleeding while my headphones blast music at unsafe decibels, while I also need low purple lighting and the covers up to my chin in like a little burrito cocoon. Try not to judge yourself depending on what you need. It’s just your body’s (nervous system’s) version of volume control, sometimes you need to turn it up, sometimes you need to turn it down.
Why Halloween Makes Sense for Nervous Systems Like Mine
When you’ve lived through high-intensity environments, your baseline for “normal” stimulation gets recalibrated. So something like a haunted house or a scary movie can hit that sweet spot of safe chaos. You get the benefits of the adrenaline rush without being in real danger. We can also seek this out through unsafe or risky behaviors like drinking, smoking, gambling, sex, etc.
It’s why people like me might find haunted houses oddly regulating. I’m not really scared, I’m just logically putting myself in a place or situation where I can feel scared and go home afterwards to my purple lights. The best part of healing is realizing you can create that same sense of aliveness in calmer moments, too. The more we learn to ride the waves of our own nervous system, the easier it becomes to feel both safe and alive, sort of like living instead of existing. I’ll choose the living part.
from your spooky scary lover therapist,
Morgan
