I’M TIRED OF THIS, GRANDPA
Listen here, we are tired. We, you, me, us. We are all tired. I’m making this post at 11:04pm when I should be sleeping, but I couldn’t turn off my brain. Yes, even trained therapists use unhealthy distraction techniques when they can’t sleep.
Trust me, I made a longer list, but here is what I am tired of:
Blueberries being $6 a pint
2 factor authentication with a 6-digit code that I can never remember by the time I go to type it in
Feeling like where I’m at is never good enough
Political ad campaigns
Social media
The general insensitivity and lack of empathy towards the human existence
People that don’t pick up their dog’s poop
Wanting more out of life, but being unsure what the meaning of life actually is
Men feeling like they aren’t allowed to have feelings and share their shame
When you treat yourself to gel nails, but then you have to pay to have them grinded off, only for them to look like sh*t, ruining the health of your nail, and feel like you have to get them done again
Family cycles of addiction and trauma
People staying in relationships out of fear, comfort, & insecurity
My dog continuously throwing up on the carpet instead of the hard floor
The fear women have losing autonomy over their bodies
They say these are unprecedented times, but looking back to generations previous, every time in history was an “unprecedented time.” We have no idea what the future will bring, because we haven’t been there yet.
Everything is new.
This concept can be terrifying, but also exhilarating. Apply this idea to your life and the thought of any type of control will be forced to exit stage left. It hurts and I’m sorry for this, but you cannot control anything but yourself. Not your kids, your partner, your boss, your coworkers, your dog, your mom, your dad, your neighbor. Not the weather, the news, the taxes, the past, and certainly not the future. No matter how much you plan, overthink, research, ruminate, or anticipate, you cannot control anyone or anything. You can try and hold on to the control, but this will only cause you further anguish, depression, frustration, and anxiety. If that’s what you want, then keep it. Heck, I can’t control you. You do you, boo. Hold onto it until you’re 99 and tell me how you feel.
OR, you can consider this.
The one thing we do have control over is ourselves.
You can control yourself in the present moment. That is it.
I can’t control that blueberries are $6 a pint, but I can control my budget and where I shop.
I can’t control that social media platforms use the same psychological tactics related to addiction such as gambling, substance use, and curate a specific narrative, but I can control my access and use of it.
I mean have you ever seen The Social Dilemma? Add it to your list. It’s wild.
I can’t control how men are affected by the stereotypes of society, but I can continue to make efforts to hold a safe space for their emotions and experiences without judgement.
I can’t control my past family cycle of addiction and trauma, but I can heal and learn new ways of living to break the cycle.
When you are tired of something, ask yourself what you can and cannot control. This will give you guidance on where to move next. If the choice seems too daunting and too far out of your comfort zone, just the awareness of the choice being there may be enough to gnaw at you into changing. It might not happen within a day, such as healing a cycle of trauma, but the mere fact you are considering it is a seed planted.
You control if you choose to water it or not.
Your blueberry lovin & trauma cycle breakin therapist,
Morgan
