What kind of therapist are you?
I get this question a lot in the beginning of working with someone.
Sometimes it’s pretty direct, as I watch them scan my tiny (but cozy) office as if they are trying to get a read on who I am with my 32 plants, rattan furniture style, candy bowl (the good candy, by the way), candles & low lighting lamps, Brene Brown & sobriety books, all set against a sage green and beige color scheme.
I think about how they see me: a 30 something with semi visible tattoos, my Kindle Scribe to take notes, and usually 3 drinks within arms reach- the trifecta of the biggest water bottle possible, protein coffee, & an Alani Nu back up.
So, what kind of therapist am I?
I’m the kind of therapist who will engage with you. I’m totally fine starting with some small talk to build rapport, but professionally (and honestly, personally too), I can only do so much of that before I’m ready to get into the real stuff. I am not a “mmhmm” or just nod therapist, but I know sometimes the best sessions are when I say the least too. I’ll challenge you when needed, help keep you accountable to your goals, and offer resources that support your growth in between.
I’m the kind of therapist who tells you the truth. During consults or first sessions, I often say some version of, “I’ll lovingly call out your BS.” I’m compassionate and empathetic, but I won’t validate a narrative of “yes, you’re perfect! It’s everyone else who sucks.” Sorry not sorry, not my style. I deeply believe that while we may not be responsible for what happened to us, we are responsible for what we do with it.
I’m the kind of therapist who can sit with your pain and not flinch. We are talking the things you are most ashamed of, the memories you’ve tried to bury, the intrusive and suicidal thoughts, and the rage of having to pretend you are someone you are not. I won’t make it weird, you’re not going to surprise me, and I won’t take it home with me emotionally. Not to be dramatic but it’s literally my calling and purpose in this lifetime to help you process through the deepest shit of your life. If it’s heavy enough that I don’t have words, I’ll sit with you in that silence too.
I’m the kind of therapist who believes that your symptoms are not to be shamed or pathologized, but to be noted as survival strategies. The anxiety, overthinking, addictions, people pleasing, and avoidance had served a purpose at one time, and was a way to cope. I don’t shame or judge those survival patterns, being honest I’m familiar with them myself. I do my best work when you are ready to address the real deep rooted issues and patterns of those symptoms.
I’m the kind of therapist who works at the intersection of science, somatics (connection of the mind and body), and something deeper. I trust our nervous system, the science of neuroplasticity, and the brain’s ability to rewire itself. I also trust in the somatics of the body, and how trauma can live in our muscles, breath, and gut causing chronic pain and physical ailments. I make and hold space for what can’t always be measured through clinical assessments which is your intuition, inner knowing, and connection to something greater. I believe there is room for both and healing often happens beyond wordly explanations.
So, with that being said, that’s the kind of therapist I am.
I know I’m not for everyone, and that’s okay. I also know I’m still growing in refining my clinical skills, deepening my understanding of different modalities, and building more confidence in my approach. One of my favorite parts of my work is the mystery of how therapy can create change in ways we can’t always fully explain, and the fact that I’ll be learning and growing in this field for decades to come.
What I can promise and know definitively is that I’ll continue to show up as my full self, and I hope that encourages the clients I work with to do the same.
from your neuroscience based, kinda hippie, kinda cool therapist,
Morgan
