Whats your story?
I recently started working with someone in marketing and business development and one of the first questions she asked me was, “What’s your story?”
I had my scripted, professional answer ready to go (like I always do), but something felt different. I felt like if I’m going to grow my voice, I have to stop hiding behind a wall of fear when it comes to sharing or being seen.
In grad school and clinical training, we’re taught to keep ourselves out of the room. No personal disclosures, strict boundaries. I do understand the importance of this and the work should be about the client, not our own emotional experiences- 100%. I’ve had my own personal therapy experiences where that was not the case, and it felt like I just gave them the therapy session (no joke). That conditioning, along with my own struggles in sharing, had me believe that self disclosing anything personal is stepping out of bounds and unprofessional.
I’ve never wanted to lead with my story and I still don’t feel it needs to be the main dish. If I’m being honest, I’d much rather have my work speak for itself and I take a lot of pride in that. However, I know that connection requires truth and vulnerability at times.. the exact skills I help my clients build.
So here we are working on a new chapter, defining my own story and how I want to tell it.
I’ve lived through some incredibly painful, traumatic, and at times self-inflicted experiences in both childhood and as a young adult. I’ve spent years doing healing work in a variety of ways, but it was the stories of other women and men who had walked through their own hell that gave me the most hope, especially in the beginning. Whether it be in the rooms (recovery phrase for those that don’t know), through books, TedTalks, podcasts, really any type of media- it gave me a spark to know something else was possible.
As my fav girl Brené Brown says, people have to earn the right to hear your story. I have embodied that for my life, but that doesn’t mean parts of my story need to stay hidden or rehearsed.
My story doesn’t have to be my brand, but it can be a bridge I’m learning to build.
from your vulnerable bridge building therapist,
Morgan
